The poem
I had a dream, a dream of dread: I thought that horror held the house; A burglar bent above my bed, He moved as quiet as a mouse. With hairy hand and naked knife He poised to plunge a bloody stroke, Until despairful of my life I shrieked with terror - and awoke.
I had a dream of weary woes: In weather that was fit to freeze, I thought that I had lost my cloths, And only wore a short chemise. The wind was wild; so catch a train I ran, but no advance did make; My legs were pistoning in vain - How I was happy to awake!
I had a dream: Upon the stair I met a maid who kissed my lips; A nightie was her only wear, We almost came to loving grips. And then she opened wide a door, And pointed to a bonny bed . . . Oh blast! I wakened up before I could discover - were we wed?
Alas! Those dreams of broken bliss, Of wakenings too sadly soon! With memories of sticky kiss, And limbs so languidly a-swoon! Alas those nightmares devil driven! Those pantless prowlings in Pall Mall! Oh why should some dreams be like heaven And others so resemble hell?